Deciding how long to stay in each place is the toughest nomadic life's dilemma
Over time, every nomad tends to increase the duration in each place until the day nomadism ends
The infinite possibility of choices only brings more uncertainties in life. It applies to the movie on Netflix, and it applies to the nomadic life.
From the moment it becomes possible to stay as long as you want in one place, it becomes a great dilemma.
Last year, on average, I stayed 20 days in each place. My goal in 2024 is to reach at least 30 days of stay.
There are many possible styles of nomadism. The traveler, who stays even less time than I do in each place. The more settled nomad stays in one place for months or even more than a year. And the monthly nomad.
Monthly nomadism provides enough time for you to feel like a local, following the tips I gave in this post. It's fascinating to live this way in different places around the world. The longer the stay, the more intense the local life, but the fewer other lives you will have lived. In the long run, the total number of lives may not make much difference (we are not playing Super Mario).
However, saying goodbye is always painful. You've just gotten used to the language, customs, people, understanding how the city works, which parks you like to visit, which bars or parties suit your style the most, and then you're leaving.
That's why, over time, every nomad tends to increase the duration in each place. Packing up gets tiring. Moving gets tiring. Thinking about the following itinerary gets tiring. Saying goodbye gets tiring. Until one day you finally stop being a nomad.
Another critical point to emphasize is that each form of nomadism will be unique. In my case, I have a five-year-old nephew, of whom I am the godfather. He lives in Avaré, where I was born, 300 km from São Paulo. I want to see him grow up, so I don't want to stay more than two or three months without visiting him.
My parents are also over 60 years old, and I don't plan on staying many months without seeing them. Life forces me to plan to be in São Paulo every two or three months.
It's impossible to predict the future, but if today I could choose life for the 2025 or 2026 version of Mateus, I would choose three or four favorite cities to stay in for three or four months each. And then, within each destination, take shorter trips —including São Paulo and Avaré periodically. I've already written in this newsletter about how I miss traveling.
Today, the idea of being in a non-nomadic life and only leaving for trips on holidays or vacations causes me despair. At the same time, I will tire of monthly nomadism one day.
Following this process in the coming months or years will be interesting. So I invite you to keep reading this newsletter to learn how it works and to inspire yourself to the next step in your life.
Mmmmm. So much resonates here. For me, there is paradox. The thought of not living a life that allows me to roam, to feel myself more and more a citizen of the world is, yes, cause for despair. There is also despair at missing what might be missed by not watching the rhythm of change in a single spot for a long time, by missing what might be missed by not being near family on a regular, enduring basis.
I used to believe I needed to find a partner who would be home no matter which tug I followed. More and more, I’m learning it’s me.
As for whether or not I am trending toward staying longer, yes and no. My lengths of stays during different nomadic periods have varied greatly. I’ve also had years-long periods of staying in the same place between roaming times.
Another great post, Mateus. Thank you.
Mateus, you’ve written a primer for nomads. It’s great insight for others who are on this path while also being aware where you’re at in the nomadic process. Write on.